Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Crap Snowboarding Meme of The Week: The Evolution Sequence

Darwin was a brilliant man and his discovery of evolution changed the world for ever, but it did have one unexpected drawback; it spawned the snowboard evolution sequence...

Since Darwin's discovery, the following 150 years has produced just one recorded example of the evolution sequence meme that was even slightly good. Here it is. Soak it up because it all goes seriously downhill from here.

As a high-water mark it's not exactly laugh out loud. It gets even worse if that meme is focused on snowboarding. It's the visual equivalent of a dad joke - mildly amusing the first time, but when it's then mercilessly repeated for years it becomes a unique form of torture. The first time this meme occurred in snowboarding was in this Hot Snowboards badge.

Remember Hot Snowboards? No? Exactly

Now thousands of people without a drop of artistic or comedic talent have jumped on this meme to bury the internet with crap. Here are some key examples...

That's some antiquated looking snowboarding right there:

This specific version appeared on About.com's Wordless Wednesday, where the publicised aim of that feature was defeated by them adding this description; "The world, according to Darwin the snowboarder." It's also notable because that caption was so poor it even managed to bring this shitty meme down one more level.

Giant old school snowboarder gets 1cm of air

Most honest positioning of crappy meme sticker

It also wins a prize for the least aspirational way to market a €10 sticker

Remember the tired skiing vs snowboarding debate? This meme does:

Extra points for completely irrelevant caption.

An even worse version by Banksy

Although I have a strong suspicion that the claim that this is by Banksy is spurious.

And that brings us on to the next section:
Q:  What's worse than a crappy internet meme?
A:  A crappy Internet meme you can wear..

580 EVO SNOWBOARD funny ski boots sled humor evolution cool hip new mens T-shirt

At least that's how they describe it. Special mention for only going to the trouble of create 4 simple silhouettes before foisting it on the public.

That famous part of evolution when humans suddenly became 3 meters tall

Giant invisible snowboarder

Giant snowboarder jibbing across your crotch

Or across your tits

Extra points for just smashing together some jarringly unrelated clip art. 

Just in case this wasn't clear enough let me spell out the joke

The Top 4 things you can buy if you want to rock this crappy meme:

3. The poorly aligned iPhone case

2. The pacifier the meme was never going to fit on in the first place

And the winner is:

1. The horrific sky-blue polyester tie resplendent with multiple images of a screamingly camp snowboarder

It's just 63 days until you unwrap this beauty on Christmas morning.

Previously On Crap Snowboarding Memes...


© 1896. Design by Main-Blogger - Tinkering by Zhang - Colouring in by Illicit