Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Epically Rubbish Product of The Week: Ai Storm's Bobble Gimp Jackets

One of the biggest problems that used to face people who wanted to dress like complete idiots, was that other people could recognise them. Now thanks to Ai Storm those people can look like the complete idiots they always dreamt of, in complete anonymity...

Ai Storm have created a fashion monstrosity by integrating googles into a puffer jacket, and if that wasn't bad enough, they then stuck a bobble on top. It's an idea from an Italian company that has all the hallmarks of a classic failed Kickstarter project, but somehow, their idea has made it into production, people are buying it and they are now branching out into a whole new array of follow-up fashion crimes mixed with some equally mad marketing.

Here's the jacket in action:

They have 3 patents on that jacket, just in case anyone is thinking of copying it.

What type of person wears Ai Storm?

Here's a photo of a number of non-idiotic Italians studiously ignoring the three anonymous muppets inappropriately dressed for the inclement weather conditions

Teletubby group sex

One of the people in this photo looks very silly

Despite being dressed in human ribbed condoms, the wearers of Ai Storm jackets really like the comedy kissing photo.

Some of them take things a little too far.

By adding and Ai Storm jacket to the rest of this lifestyle ensemble, this guy is pretty much guaranteeing he will never get laid.

If you ever see an Ai Storm jacket wearer in real life, just run. Run and don't look back.

Can you wear Ai Storm as sportswear?

Since the show was axed, times have got difficult for the Green Power Ranger 

The single worst thing that has ever happened to BMXing

Although I have to say it, seems to compliment skiing, especially when matched up with a pair of jeans.

Every so often it's good to be reminded why I don't ski. 

Thankfully I can't find any evidence of snowboarder's who have succumbed to this fashion plague. 

How do Ai Storm flog their wares?

If it was just a bad product Ai Storm would be quite something, but one thing that really sets this company apart from all other terrible ideas, is their marketing.

For starters, how they describe themselves on their website has got to be the single most epic piece of marketing speak I've ever read:

"Ai Storm is synonymous with planning adventurous itineraries. Finding travel companions. Accepting a challenge. Sharing a tale. Breaking the ice. Looking through the wind. Choosing a destination. Escaping. With amazing friends. Feeling at ease. Being protected by a futuristic shell. With managing to view the world in its multiple hues. It’s a pirate jacket like certain ships, records and flags. It’s the achieving of an awareness of one’s spatial and temporal dimension. It is love. Friendship. To wear it will herald a season of change. Ai storm is a jacket for the inhabitants of the planet, devised to throw oneself  into exploring the world. It changes  colours, sounds, music, life. It remains intact in the face of all ethical and aesthetic threats."

And the only way you can follow something that bonkers is with this three and a half minutes of video wank.

Could Ai Storm get any worse?


You can get it in vomit camouflage

You can now buy Ai Storm jackets, without the jacket so that you can fuck up other perfectly good jackets.

Translation: "We sure love crazy shit in Japan, but fuck me, what the hell is this?"

Ai Storm, for disfigured Russian Oligarchs

Ai Storm - Yeti edition

And the almost inevitable coup de grĂ¢ce...

How much does an Ai Storm jacket cost?

The standard jacket is $408 
(€297 or £244)

They have other versions that go up to $489
(€356 or £293)

The fur ones? They'll set you back $780! 
(€567 or £467)


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Crappy snowboard meme of the week: KEEP CALM and CARRY ARRRGGGGHHHHHH! 

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